has ritual cannibalism got you down? maybe you're tired of praying all the god damned time? perhaps you fancy being composted instead of being picked apart by vultures. do you find the weight of your uncut hair oppressive? do you find that fasting isn't any fun at all? would you prefer to keep the genitals of your male children free of undue attention? are you tired of your dead ancestors consistently refusing to eat the elaborate meals you prepare for them?*
well, folks, I've got some good news. being a part of the first church of dirt is so very much easier than all of that. all you have to do is be considerate of dirt. hopefully that will lead to some more tangible action, but you don't have to worry yourself with that just yet. so how about it? it's easy to get your hands dirty, why not get your soul dirty?
if you're into dirt but also want to keep up the funny stuff from your current or previous religious affiliation, well, dirt isn't jealous: feel free to practice religion polyamory.
*have I left out your favorite nutty religious practice? sorry. there are so many, you know?
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