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it's the first church of dirt.

a few years back, I got good and drunk with my friend Diantha and she asked me to perform her wedding.  so I got good and drunk again and married her to Roque. 

got ordained by the Universal Life Church (there was extensive and rigorous education and training involved) somewhere in between so the wedding would be for real and suddenly I was revered.  or reverend.  or at least I had an internet ordination.

every junior high kid knows it's fun to add silly prefixes or suffixes to their name, and it's no different for me.  it sometimes came up that I am ordained.  my credit card says "reverend" on it.  folks asked me what church I was a minister of, and, after stammering slack-jawed the first couple of times, I started saying "the first church of dirt."

I was joking.  sometimes I joke.  but dirt is pretty important.  no need to worship it, really, but respect is certainly in order.  a little ritual slaughter or sacrifice or offering now and then wouldn't hurt, either.

so, uh, the first church of dirt is not a building (though if it was it would be my grandmother's barn).  the first church of dirt is something else, entirely.  or mostly.  or, well, I don't know.  I'm hoping it will be more than a soapbox.